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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 11 months ago
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The Hogwarts code of conduct
Dumbledore: Honorable members of the faculty, we summon you here today to address the issue of anti-mudbloodism in Hogwarts. You guys are all Professors which means you're smart, so this shouldn't take long. Let's start with you, Professor McGonagall. Does advocating for the genocide of mudbloods violate the code of conduct on bullying and harassment in Gryffindor?
McGonagall: it's a context dependent decision, Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Excuse me? How is calling for the genocide of mudbloods not a violation of the rules?
McGonagall: It's a context dependent decision.
Dumbledore: What the hell is wrong with you Professor McGonagall, aren't you supposed to be one of the good guys in this story? You're telling me that calling for genocide is dependent on the context?
McGonagall: Oh, yes. Context. It's a new spell that makes everything that's wrong right. Context.
Dumbledore: What a freaking witch. Okay, moving on to you Professor Sprout. Does advocating for the genocide of mudbloods violate the Hufflepuff code on harassment? Answer me yes or no? It's a yes or no question, so answer me yes or no.
Sprout: Yes. Or no.
Dumbledore: Wait, wait, are you okay? Did, did you become mental? Are you mentally capable? How is that not harassment?
Sprout: Well, if speech turns into conduct, it can be harassment, yes.
Dumbledore: Okay look this is a very easy question, okay. This is not the rules of Quidditch here. You're telling me that calling for the genocide of mudbloods is not bullying or harassment? That's what you're telling me?
Sprout: Well, it's just words. Not even the n-word. When they start killing mudbloods then yes, that would be harassment.
McGonagall: And if they kill all of them, it's classified as bullying and we might take action. Depending on the context.
Dumbledore: Merlin's fucking beard. Okay, Mr Snape, I think I can already guess your opinion on the matter.
Snape: Well, I'm the more complex character here. On the one hand, as a Slytherin professor, I do have some feelings against them. But on the other hand, as a half blood myself I think calling for their genocide is perfectly all right.
Dumbledore: You know what you are? You are a self-hating mudblood, which is the worst kind of mudblood.
Snape: I prefer the term Half Blood.
Dumbledore: I wanna Avada Kedavra myself in the fucking head. What happened to you all? This used to be a good school when I left you in book 6, which by the way, was the best one. Have the dark forces penetrated the castle walls? Who was it, Voldemort?
McGonagall: It's the state who must not be named.
Sprout: Yes, the Qatarius!
Dumbledore: Really? How much are they paying you?
McGonagall: Oh, they shit dollars on us.
Dumbledore: Give me a figure.
McGonagall: Oh well.
Dumbledore: Just give me something.
[whispers]
Dumbledore: Wow.
McGonagall: M-hm.
Dumbledore: Oh, why didn't you just say that from the start? I mean for that kind of money I'd say fuck all the mudbloods myself. And the Jews too. And if you didn't get the metaphor that's because you're as stupid as a Harvard graduate. This hearing is adjourned. Let's go get some shish kebab.
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quantumofawesome · 2 years ago
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krystal-prisms · 1 year ago
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sunnymainecoon · 2 months ago
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Can u guys tell I like setting up different interpretations of the same character together yet
I've done so with swap(he's the most obvious one) and I've done so with horror. And now dusts on that list too. I have had thought of others like ink but, maybe another time
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mellosdrawings · 3 months ago
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Where is Rook with the future N2?
-Rook Anon
Rook is the wildest, freest spirit that has ever walked this earth. He disappears for months and reappears out of the blue to hang at the Sunset Savanna palace like he completely belongs here. When Vil is away on a shoot, it's not rare that Rook accompanies him so that he doesn't feel lonely. That's their alone time together.
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He regularly sends random pictures of sceneries and animals to Jamil and Vil, always sends best wishes on time for birthdays and festivities when he cannot be there, and sends at least one package a week of the most random thing he's found/bought.
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He's also the weird uncle of the N2 children. Urcon and him get along an ungodly amount. The guards at the palace regularly find them hiding in bushes and observing the birds and insects flying around. They wax poetry about everything and nothing. Rook is very supportive of all of Urcon's strange interests.
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caluette · 4 months ago
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itoshi brothers / “still”
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nyancrimew · 4 months ago
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thank you for your service, im not even kidding
i meant abt your bulge, but then realized how much youve done, so thanks for being good at comouters too
you are welcome 🫡
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critter-of-habit · 1 year ago
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wolfwren brainrot 👀
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neostellarjpg · 3 months ago
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a couple of older aradia drawings from my twt
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ventique18 · 8 months ago
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Streamer 🌸 who's decently popular because they give practical, low-cost cooking lessons while being cute.
🌸: "Today we're going to make a healthy dinner using common leftovers!"
Anonymous4791638 superchatted $1000: "You are simply breathtaking, my darling. May I come over to your place tonight? I wish to give you a blessing of love."
...
You've been kicked out of U-chan's livestream.
🐉: "What has happened? How do I view their 'profile' again..? Let's see..."
You've been blocked by U-chan.
🐉: "..."
He was blocked and reported for being a creep. When he confronts 🌸 about it, they apologize and unblock him, but not without a stern warning.
🌸: "Why are you going around randomly giving $1000, sending thirst comments--"
🐉: "What is a thirst comment?"
🌸: "Unwanted compliments."
🐉, shocked: "You do not appreciate my compliments?"
🌸: "I didn't know it was you. Your account name is literally Anonymous4791638. How would you feel if a complete stranger threatened that they'd barge into your house at night and 'give you blessings of love'?"
🐉, scoffing: "I'd like to see them try to get past my lightning arrows first."
🌸: "Well I can't do that for myself. See?"
🐉: "... I'm sorry."
🌸: "Just don't scare people like that again... And, well. Don't you throw cash at me like that next time. Just come over anytime. We could even stream cooking lessons together~"
🐉: "I would appreciate that."
He stays over for a bit more as 🌸 helps him change his name to MDGargoyleEnthusiast instead.
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oifaaa · 2 months ago
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Realising that my idea of what it means to be in a fandom might be a little skewed so help me out here what is your baseline qualification for being part of a fandom
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ficauthor · 22 days ago
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Tale of two Stans never fails to make me sad. What do you mean these two overly dependent assholes both end up at the worst lowest points of their lives at the same exact moment? What the fuck!? How was it that of everything in their lives to coincide it's them being at their lowest that meet.
What do you mean their childhoods never gave them a chance to be individuals and so all of their weaknesses and blind spots caught up with them in the end. What do you mean that without Ford, Stan was destined to get himself into trouble? What do you mean that without Stan, Ford was destined to get himself in trouble? What the fuck!
What do you fucking mean that they depended on one another because that's all they ever knew.
What do you mean Ford never bothered to learn to read when people wanted to use him cause he had Stan? What do you mean Stan never learned to think ahead because he had Ford?
I'm so haunted by the fact that Ford was able to mostly keep his life stable for a few years but in the end his inability to truly read and connect with people got to him. Why did filbrick make him think he was only good for one thing so he pushed himself too far in a way it was easy to take advantage of? What do you fucking mean his fatal flaw is he's convinced he's never good enough and thus is easy to manipulate?
I'm gutted by the fact that Stan was never doing well by any means but he was surviving against the odds and doing better than terrible. Until his tendency to push things, to prove himself, got him in too deep. Why did filbrick convince him he was good for nothing so he pushed himself to find something he was worth? What do you fucking mean his fatal flaw is he's convinced he's never good enough and thus he's always pushing himself to the edge at great risk to his own safety even?
What do you mean their flaws as people are reflected and can only make full sense with the context of the other. What do you mean!
filbrick Pines how the HELL did you fuck up your sons in a way so poetic and fucked up its beautifully tragic?
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zillychu · 1 year ago
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my toxic trait is I see the :) emote as a calm, relaxed smile. whereas 99% of the population sees it as not only a death threat, but a Promise
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gravygranola · 1 month ago
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batman continues to be slightly different every time I draw him so I wanted to do a full body to get my own design down outta my head. purple inner cape is a new addition to the rotation
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deathberi · 8 months ago
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FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH (2024)
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A moment for a petty complaint:
When people are explaining how to weave in ends, in a tutorial or any video, and they say to "just follow the path of the yarn" or "double the stitches" and then proceed to do THIS
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That's a valid way to weave in your ends, assuming your yarn is wooly enough to not slip and it won't be super visible, but that's simply not what you've described.
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THIS is following the path of the yarn. It is also the superior way to weave in ends securely and least-visibly from both sides.
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